Step away, come back stronger

"The ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus often used a powerful example to make a point: when a burning coal and a cold, unlit one are placed together, one of two things will happen. Either the cold coal will catch fire, or the burning one will go out. This is a perfect metaphor for our friendships and the company we keep.

If we want to improve ourselves, to become more honest, productive, or kind, but we spend our time with people who embody the very traits we're trying to escape, we're likely to regress. We may have made progress, but we aren't yet strong enough to influence them. Instead, they will influence us, and our positive momentum will fade.

To achieve lasting change, we must be intentional about our influences. This isn't just about people; it extends to the tv shows we watch, the podcast we listen, and the ideas we consume. Everything we allow into our minds shapes us. If we want to change what we are, we must change what we want.

In the beginning, new habits are fragile, like a small flame easily extinguished by a gust of wind. We must protect this fledgling fire by limiting negative influences and seeking out those that align with our goals. It takes work, and it's not always easy, but it’s a necessary investment.

Once our habits become a strong, roaring fire, we can withstand external pressures. We can go into any crowd without fear of losing our way because our foundation is solid. Until then, we must nurture ourselves, and that means choosing our influences wisely. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of wisdom."